What I'm Not Doing at the AIrport

I'm at the airport, ready for my flight home.  And I am surprised to see that at least so far, it is on time.

I've had a lot of business travel lately; this is my eighth flight in the past eight weeks.   If this one leaves on schedule, it will be only the second of those eight flights to do so. 

But think of all the quality airport time I'll be missing!   I won't be doing any impulse shopping at the BestBuy kiosk:


I won't have time to upgrade my headphones--and I know these are WAY better than mine:

Nor to buy one of these things for the sole purpose of figuring out what the hell it does:

No time to slam back a few burgers here!

Nor beers, here:

If I were to spend a few hours at the Columbus International Airport, I would surely emerge on a very different spiritual plane:

Let me make it very clear to the good proprietors of the Terminal C newsstand that I am deeply grateful for your concern for my immortal soul.  Thanks, guys!  But I have no time for salvation today:  I'm going HOME, and on time!

In the Newark airport one evening last month, I had extensive leisure to contemplate a different kind of book cover:

This volume was being devoured quite voraciously by the woman sitting opposite me, waiting for the same Boston-bound flight, delayed more than three hours (United; mechanical difficulty).   Contemplating this title naturally raised a number of questions, principal among them:

  • Are we talking really new?  Or just new-to-me (i.e., used)?
  • What would I do with the old husband?
  • Which Friday?


Tonight, alas, there will be no time to contemplate such matters.

I will not be buying one of these:

Nor one of these:

Although you have to admit that $8.88 is a damn good deal.

I will not have time to wonder what in God's name has happened to the eyes of Beanie Babies:

The Beanie Babies of my younger days had beady little eyes, as befits a stuffed animal.  These things look like they're possessed.   If I had one in my room when the lights went out I would need to stuff it in a drawer.

But no worries about creepy Beanie Babies disturbing my slumber!   I have no time to purchase such things today.   My flight is on time, at least for now, and I am heading home.  Where I am looking forward to a joyful reunion with the Old Husband. 

Unless, of course, it's Friday.....



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