Laurie Gould: Don


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If at first you don't succeed, sell, sell again

I have just sold my house!  For the third time, in as many weeks.   It looks like this offer will stick, and this long process may finally be coming to an end.  There have been lots of ups and downs in recent weeks; and as with all such experiences, I am trying to milk it for life lessons.   The biggest, by far, is the importance of not taking things personally.

Because it is an oddly personal process, selling a house.   You invite the general public to quite literally come in and dig around in your underwear drawer—and you are asking them, implicitly, to pass judgement on what they see.   We have lived in this house for 21 years.   We raised our daughters here.  We’ve poured 21 years of money and love into its maintenance and upkeep, planting gardens, coloring a life.  While we are ready to move on, we love this place; and it is hard not to see it as an expression of who we are. 

But it’s the house that people are choosing, or not.  It’s not us as people.   This is the critical point to remember.

Closet Song #5: Red Dress

Here it is, fifth and final Closet Song!   Featuring Julia Ansolabehere on the clarinet and Richard Travers on the piano.   Special thanks abound:  to Rebecca Ansolabehere, Stephen Ansolabehere, Julie and Paul Fox, Allison Hausman, Cawfee Tawk, Kattalina Berriotxoa, and the West Suburban YMCA.

Enjoy!   And as always, I'd be thrilled if you'd share this.....

Closet Song #4: Cashmere Sweater

Closet song #4:   Cashmere Sweater!

It's spring, sort of; just about time to put those sweaters at the back of your closet for the season!  But you do it at your own risk....


Closet Song #3: Black Pants

And the third entry:   Black Pants, featuring Richard Travers on piano, Julia Ansolabehere on clarinet, and me doing most everything else:


And in case you are wondering:  after the big Selling-My-House-Cleanout, I am down to...let's see....only four pairs!

Closet Song #2 -- White Shirt

Featuring Richard Travers on the piano, Linda Toote on the flute, and Julia Ansolabehere on the clarinet.   Julia also serves as Airborne Food Choreographer.


Closet Song #1 -- Favorite Jeans

Enjoy!   And if you're so inclined -- please share this song with anyone who, say, has a closet.


Launching my first VMA!

I am getting ready to launch my very first Video Music Album!   Or maybe it's supposed to be called a Visual Music Album; I'm not really sure.   Basically, it will be exactly like Beyoncé's Lemonade!   Except for a few minor differences:

Private showing

I am holding a soggy bra when I get a text from our realtor:   can she bring a potential buyer through the house in three hours?

Of course, I respond.  And then I turn to the problem on hand:  where does one hang a just-washed brassiere to dry when one is showing one's house?

Kondo Association

For the past month or so we have been diligently cleaning out our house, giving things away as fast as we can.   Yes, I know, Tidying Up is having its cultural moment.  But this effort of ours has nothing to do with Marie Kondo!   We are cleaning out the house because we are getting ready to sell it.  And in order to do so, we need to make the house look uncluttered and spacious, inhabited by people with no discernible personality traits except that they are very clean.

After 21 years here, there is a lot stuff to clear out.   Now, I wouldn't really know, because I haven't watched her show, but I understand that Marie Kondo instructs us to thank each thing we throw out, and to kiss it as we let it go.   But I am not particularly sentimental about the stuff I'm throwing out.   It's just stuff.   And I'd just as soon not put my lips on 21 years of dust.

At HOME with Google

About a month ago I received a Google Home device in the mail.   It was a free gift for renewing a Verizon contract, or some such thing.  It sounded like it would be a fun thing to have; and it is!  It lives in my kitchen and has cute flashing lights and it tells me useful things like when Walgreens closes or how many grams in half a cup of flour.

My family was alarmed when they saw it; it's a spy machine, they said.  And they are not wrong!   The press is full of articles talking about how these smart devices are nothing more than machines for gathering information about us, which they use to sell us stuff.   Take, for example, this article from The Guardian: Will You Be Getting a Smart Home Spy for Christmas? 

I clicked on that article, and was immediately presented with sidebar ads encouraging me give to Planned Parenthood and to buy a streamlined steam cleaner from Dyson that will replace every other home cleaning device I own, but taking up only half the space. They know my politics and they know that I am downsizing.  

Of course they do!   Every time I go to the grocery store I blithely give Jeff Bezos full information about my consumer preferences in exchange for $.25 per lb. break on the price of organic avocados.   Should I be surprised that whenever I log onto Facebook, I am presented with ads for the most wonderful of pants, with pockets in just the right places, presentable in a business setting and yet comfortable enough to wear to yoga class?   Which are made from recycled coffee grounds!   And every time a pair is sold, the company gives money to retrain rescued sex workers as air traffic controllers!

Big Internet knows what I want before I know it myself.  And when I'm elbow-deep in bread dough but can still command the Google Home to play Leonard Cohen, I don't particularly mind.

Yesterday was my birthday.  In high spirits as I was cooking dinner, I told the new toy, "OK, Google!   Play birthday music!"

And without missing a beat, the Google Home started playing 2Chainz' hit, All I Want for My Birthday is a Big Booty Ho.

I am thinking that perhaps Google has a little work yet to do on its algorithms.   Because it is definitely NOT the case that what I want for my birthday is a big booty ho'.

I also want those pants I saw on Facebook.



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